


Oxygen

by Colamiilk



Series: Recovery [1]
Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Azusa's here for 3 lines or so, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hospitalization, M/M, Major Character Injury, Near Death Experiences, Oxygen Masks, Sappy, Weakness, Yelling at people like she does best, suffocation, temporary paralysis, vision impairment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26840797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colamiilk/pseuds/Colamiilk
Summary: “And when they finally told me you were still alive it was because they had your dying mangled corpse of a body and wanted to see if I had any information to help fix it.” There was a second Justin had to think about that statement, running it over through his mind a couple times… So… the reason they were together right now was only because Justin almost died?---Goretober 2020: Breathe in Breathe out- Oxygen Mask
Relationships: Giriko/Justin Law
Series: Recovery [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018233
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8
Collections: Goretober 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Later than usual because yesterday was absolutely horrible for me! Nothing actually happened except for stuff in the ~mind~ but me and my mind are always at war and it fucking got out the big guns yesterday like a bastard... anywayyyy holy shit almost a week and I haven't missed a day, amazing...

Justin could hear someone talking, mumbling about something he couldn’t understand. It made him crack open one of his eyes, desperate to find what had disturbed his sleep.

His vision was so blurry, it never focused even after he tried to blink… he could barely see. Making a small pained noise the blur in front of him suddenly jumped to attention. Moving closer to him, leaning over him slightly. It was a person. There was a person looking at him. His eyes started watering. He didn’t know why. He closed his eyes again, releasing the horrible tension that had come over his body with the force it had taken to pull himself out of unconsciousness. It was so relieving he sighed and started to sink back into where he was laying.

He didn’t know who was in front of him, at least not consciously. Apparently his subconscious knew they were harmless. More than harmless actually. Justin felt himself completely melt in their presence. Suddenly calmed. He felt safe and warm. Just seeing their blurriness there completely lulled him back into a weird dreamy state. Seeing them told him that it was ok to go back to bed, that they’d make sure nothing bad would happen to him. 

But then they made a sound of distress. Of disappointment. Justin realized somewhere in his hot liquid mind that they had wanted him to wake up. That they were waiting for him to wake up. They were upset he was falling back asleep. They sounded more than upset actually… they sounded heartbroken. It made Justin’s heart twinge in return. 

Justin made a sad pitiful whining noise and tried desperately to open his eyes. To wake up for them. It was harder than it had any right being. When he finally managed to crack them open they still looked horribly blurry, but he noticed 3 gelled spikes of hair. He smiled tiredly and let his head lean back with his exhaustion. 

“Giriko?” His voice sounded horrible. It was hoarse and tiny and pained and tired and just a complete  _ mess _ . But it was pretty clear from the noise Giriko made that he didn’t care even a little bit, it sounded so strangled and pained, like he was trying to swallow back some larger noise of relief or excitement. Justin tried to laugh but all that came out was a puff and a wheeze.

“Yeah it’s me. You waking up? Come on brat we’ve been waiting.” Each sentence sounded final, like Giriko hadn’t been planning on going on from there but then hadn’t been able to stop himself. His voice sounded rushed, like he was trying to get as much information across as he could before it was too late. Justin wondered what too late would be. He wondered what Giriko was worried would happen. 

“Giriko.” It was still nothing more than a pathetic croak, but now it was also burdened with the threat of tears. What Justin could make out of Giriko’s face was excited… had been excited. With his weird repetition of the enchanter’s name it had dropped slightly. He looked concerned. Worried about him. Justin wasn’t paying attention to that… he was too busy noticing how soft and warm everything was… how different it all felt… what too late could be… his throat swelled shut as he started to piece together where he was.

“Are we dead?” Giriko’s face fell like a rock. All the joy and relief in his face drained out, vanished like it had never been there. Justin could feel something painful and crushing around what he had to assume was his arm. He still couldn’t feel his body right. Everything was still so numb and heavy. The tightness of what he was guessing was Giriko’s grasp was the only thing he could feel besides the slight movements of his face as he talked.

“We’re not dead. It's fine Justin. We’re fine.” Justin’s head fell to the side limply. He couldn’t summon the energy to hold it up anymore. He was having a hard time believing Giriko’s words. This felt a lot like an afterlife. Everything was so bright and nothing hurt anymore. A few tears started to drip down his face. They smelled so salty and only made his face twist up more, letting him choke out a few more silent sobs.

“I died didn’t I?” His chest hurt. His heart was scrunching up and trying to disappear within itself. This was too cruel. All of it. He just wanted to be dead. Dead in the sense that he’d never have to think or feel again. He didn’t want to be taunted like this. To be shown everything he could’ve had if he had just been normal. If he never had the disgusting black tar of madness coursing through him. He could see Giriko moving, trying to meet their eyes again after Justin had looked pointedly away. He didn’t want to see the enchanter. He didn’t want to see anyone anymore. Still the man awkwardly moved his arm around something and put his hand gently on the side of his face.

There was stuff in the way. Things Justin couldn’t see or feel but that were most certainly on him and blocking any skin to skin contact between them. A bitter confirmation flickered through him as he realized that this might just be how things felt when you were dead. He was dead. He was dead and had been sent to heaven because it was more interesting, more cruel to make him suffer like this then to make him suffer in the same way he had been on earth. He already knew how to deal with the unbelievable pain of hell. He already knew how to stomach that kind of suffering. He had no idea how to deal with this… this… false love and care. He didn’t know how to handle being taunted with what he had wanted so badly. It hurt so bad. It hurt and made it hard to breathe.

“Justin you're fine, you’re safe and you’re fine. Just waking up. You're waking up it's going to be ok.” Giriko must’ve been able to see his overwhelming confusion because he quickly went to clarify. 

“You were hurt. You are hurt. They put you under to keep you safe Justin. You're just waking up from that.” He didn’t understand that. At least… not entirely. His brain felt mushy and confused and he wanted Giriko closer. His tired limp and heavy body couldn’t move properly but he managed to lean his head further into the enchanter’s hand and nuzzle into his palm. He could feel Giriko tense up, he could feel the man strain to hold himself back from turning his gentle touch into a painfully grasping, protective one. Justin wished he would. He didn’t care if it’d hurt. He wanted to feel the other and know he was there. 

“I thought you died.” The words fell flat into the room, so heavy that no one knew how to stop it from just splattering across the floor, dark and gross with some weird mixture of accusation and longing… 

“I thought you died too brat.” Giriko’s voice was getting hoarse. It sounded like he was in pain. Justin could barely see anything in the shifting hazy colors of the room but he just knew the other’s face was twisted into something upset. That he had been just as torn up about this as Justin had been… Frowning Justin quickly moved past that, wanting to make sure he got more information and this didn’t just turn into a sore and pained silence. 

“How long have I been asleep?” It looked like Giriko had been half standing over him before that, but with the relief that Justin was thinking coherently and asking questions again he sat down with a heavy sigh.

“Not going to lie, it’s been a good while. And it’ll probably be longer. You can’t see yourself right now but you… you don’t look so good.” Justin didn’t feel very good either, he could barely think through the heavy fog over his brain that just screamed at him to go back to bed… he was so tired… he was so tired but there was far too much he needed to hear before he could let himself fall back asleep. 

“What about you? Do you look good? Are… are you ok?” There was a weird pause for a bit, Giriko stiffened up and suddenly made Justin feel as if he had done something very very wrong and was now somehow in trouble. 

“Can you not see me?” Justin weakly shook his head no. He could feel Giriko’s hand grow painfully tight around his own. The silence stretched on longer and longer and Justin started to grow nervous. 

“Giriko-”

“I’m ok. I’m ok, see?” For a second Justin was confused, but then he felt Giriko pick up his hand, pulling it up and place it against his warm stubbly cheek. Justin’s fingers splayed out almost immediately, touching the other’s skin and trying not to cry over the warm contact. He wanted more. He thought this was gone. He wanted to pull Giriko closer and kiss him but all he could do was clutch at the other’s face weakly. 

“Kiss me?” Justin wasn’t usually the type to ask upfront for something like that but he knew he wasn’t going to be able to take it for himself. Still he could feel Giriko sag under that demand, a silent rejection that was only empathized by Giriko dropping his hand. It fell like a rock back to the bed without the enchanter’s support. Justin tried to lift it back up but he couldn’t. He whined, warbelly and sad at the loss of contact. At the sudden distance he had accidentally put in between them.

“I can’t.” The weird hazy exhaustion that made it impossible for Justin to really understand  _ why _ , or even really see that as anything more than some kind of lazy excuse. Huffing tiredly he tried his best to get his lax and numb face into a glare.

“Why not?” Suddenly he heard a weird tapping come from the front of his face. Trying to look at what it was he couldn’t see anything but a weird grey that Giriko was knocking one of his knuckles on. Whatever it was was on him. Over his mouth and nose. Clearly in the way and the reason Giriko couldn’t kiss him. He huffed in annoyance.

“Take it off.” Giriko laughed, sharp and tired. Justin watched as his blurry arm went up to rub at his face… or the back of his head… it went to do something. Wrinkling his own eyes shut his fingers twitched, he wanted to rub at them. To try and get the weird haze that had settled over them to go away. His nose wrinkled up in displeasure and the weird plastic on his face shifted with the movement. 

“Justin I’m not gonna risk killing you for a kiss.” If Justin had full control over his body right now he’d rip whatever it was off his face and kiss the enchanter himself. He was getting sick of being unable to move. Really sick of it. He was starting to get mad and honestly rather grumpy about it. He glared at the blurry smear of color that he had pegged as Giriko, and huffed again. Louder this time.

“You don’t know if that’d kill me.” Justin’s voice was surprisingly firm and difficult considering the condition he was in, but it didn’t seem to pressure Giriko into listening to him even the slightest bit. 

“I don’t know if it wouldn’t either.” If there was one thing Justin hated more than anything else, it was when Giriko was right and he knew he had to listen to the other man. Justin fucking hated that, he hated knowing he was wrong and was extremely guilty of sometimes doing it anyway because he  _ couldn’t  _ admit Giriko was right. This wasn’t anything new or anything different.

“It wouldn’t.” He didn’t need to see to know how absolutely exhausted Giriko looked right now. He could just feel it coming off of the enchanter in waves. 

“Justin.” Huffing Justin knew that he had met a dead end here, that Giriko wasn’t going to keep going with this and wasn’t going to listen. There was nothing he could do anymore… nothing but… 

“Justin!” Sitting up as best as he could Justin groaned far lower then he probably had in his entire life. That hurt so much worse than it had any right to. His stomach felt like it was caving in. His rib cage was trying to kiss his hip bones. He was completely crumpling into himself. Giriko threw him back onto the bed and he didn’t fight it, he just groaned again and tried to wipe at his now sweaty face. Giriko held his arm down.

How on earth had it taken that much energy just to sit up? How was he out of breath from just that? He could hear Giriko calling him a moron or something along those lines in a flurry besides him. He sounded so angry and incredulous over everything that Justin laughed tiredly.

“It hurts.” His voice was pained not only from the sheer agony he went through trying to do that but also with the realization of how entirely weak and helpless he was right now, completely broken apart and unable to move. The tears that pricked around his eyes weren’t from the physical hurt at all, no they were all from the implications that were suddenly falling into place around him.

“No shit it hurts! Why the fuck did you do that?” Giriko sounded amazingly livid, probably more furious with Justin than he had been for a very very long time. It was a tone that probably would’ve messed with Justin a lot if it weren’t for the fact that he was far too worn out and in way too much pain to really pay all that much attention to Giriko anymore. Still, he did his best to answer.

“I’m tired of laying here. I’m ready to move around again.” Giriko laughed in disbelief, amazed at how stupid he was being… Justin wasn’t sure he had ever been in a situation where Giriko had made that noise and he had actually  _ agreed  _ that he was being stupid. Usually it was over pride, which was invaluable in Justin’s opinion, but right now he knew he had to stay still… he hated that. 

“Clearly you're not! How the hell did you even manage to get yourself up that much!?” He tried to make a response, he tried to say something back to that and keep up their conversation but he only managed to groan and spit up some painful burning bile into the dumb mask on his face. Fuck. He could smell some blood in that. 

There was a loud clattering noise and he could sort of notice Giriko rush out of wherever they were. Some part of him was completely heartbroken by that, but the part of him that was trying not to vomit even more into the small mask literally strapped to his face was far louder and wasn’t going to give him a chance to even think about where Giriko had gone or why. 

“Justin!” He knew that voice. Whose voice was that? 

As he saw the shifting, blurry, dark figure come over him he tried to put it together. They ripped the mask off his face and he coughed in confusion, spraying more blood onto the sheets. Who the hell was this? They wiped at his face with something that smelled gross and wet and he tried to bend away. They weren’t interested in being gentle or patient with him though, and quickly grabbed on to his face and kept him firmly still with a quiet threat his tired mind couldn’t really hear. 

He went cooperatively limp after that. He knew he wasn’t in any state to fight back, and while he didn’t remember who exactly that voice belonged to he didn’t really feel any fear or uncertainty around it. They were fairly quick after that and it seemed like it was all fine. Up until they tore something off his face and made him screech in surprise and mild pain. His entire body bunched up with the shock and he managed to cup his hand protectively around the patch of skin they had ripped the bandage off of. 

“Let me see it.” To say he was confused was an understatement. He couldn’t understand what they were asking and they sure didn’t wait for him to figure it out before they pulled his hand away and forced his legs back flat against the bed. 

“Most of your lips are back… but the rest is still pretty bad. At least we can move the bandage to the side now. Where you won’t vomit on it.” Justin’s brain was working overtime trying to understand that. His lips? Moving his hand up to touch at his now uncovered face he felt the rough scabbed over skin that was bleeding ever so slightly around his mouth. The rough healing marks seemed to trail up his face for quite a while… up until they reached his flaming cheek.

Oh.

He suddenly remembered where he was. 

And he knew who was in front of him.

“Azu-” Azusa glared at him horribly, he could tell even with his blurry vision that she was pissed. Completely and entirely. She was so mad at him. Not about what he had done to originally get him here though. Just at how he had managed to fuck himself up again within the first 30 minutes of being awake again. 

“Don’t talk. Just sit there and try not to mess anything else up.” Justin didn’t argue with that. He sat silently as she rebandaged his cheek and put something on all the scabs. It was getting hard to breathe. He felt like he was going to pass out soon. He wanted to start gasping for air but he was scared of moving that much while she was doing something. Apparently he started to turn purple or something though because she leaned back with a very concerned kind of posture.

“Can you breathe?” He shook his head no rapidly and she swore under her breath. There was a second where she put something else on the scabs before quickly standing up. Justin tried to take in a shaky breath but it wasn’t really working. He didn’t understand why he was having such a hard time. It felt like he was suffocating. He tried to breath in again but it felt like he wasn’t actually managing to suck in any air. 

He felt a new mask get forced roughly against his face and strapped down, and within seconds afterwards there was a rush of air. He was sweating again. What… on earth had happened to him? He remembered being dragged back to the DWMA half dead at this point but what had he done that made it impossible for him to breathe? His eyebrows knotted up as he tried to think of everything on the very long list of ways that he had horrible mangled himself. It was probably something but god if he could remember what. 

“Azusa.” His voice was so gravely and weird that he had to cough right after saying that, cringing at the weird popping wet feeling that moved in his chest with each one. Azusa didn’t even blink at it.

“No talking. We can talk later, you need to rest.” Once again she didn’t wait for him to catch up. Instead she just grabbed his blanket and threw it over him in a way Justin knew was more to restrain him than to be comforting. He blinked at her, trying to follow everything she was doing with his tired pained mind. Finally she stopped, just for a second, giving him a tired smile and running her hand through his hair. 

“Go to sleep. You’re still not in any state to be awake right now.” her grip tightened ever so slightly and she tensed up in a way that Justin knew meant she was giving him her truly horrific and threatening smile.

“If you don’t we have sedatives. So be cooperative.” Shrinking under the blankets he closed his eyes and she patted his head in approval. 

Of course he didn’t just immediately fall asleep after that though. The adrenaline in his veins from all that weird pain was still running high. He wasn’t going to risk opening his eyes and letting her put him under though… so he just sort of listened into her and Giriko’s angry hushed conversation. 

“So what the hell happened here?” Azusa’s voice was an amazing kind of livid, straight up blood thirsty and actually develing into unprofessional language… she was truly outraged. Justin was actually the slightest bit panicked knowing there was literally nothing he could do to slow her down from whatever was going to happen here. 

“He woke up, tried to sit up and threw up, I told you that! What the hell else are you expecting to hear?” It was shocking how quiet Giriko was capable of being, he was practically whispering there, Justin had to strain to hear him despite the fact Giriko usually was loud or deafening. There wasn’t any quiet option most of the time… all of this was so unfamiliar, unfamiliar enough Justin was curious if he hit his head and forgot some stuff about how the closest people in his life acted… he felt dizzy and sick. 

“Why’d he try to sit up?” Azusa almost made it seem like it was somehow Giriko’s fault Justin had made that stupid decision, probably wanting to get angry at someone she could take it out on instead of some dumb kid so beaten up that trying to beat him up anymore would definitely kill him. The funny tone of that in Justin’s mind fell flat as he realized that he really would die even if he just fell onto the floor right now… that was horrifying and humiliating and… 

“I don’t know!” Swallowing thickly Justin grasped onto those words, clinging on to this conversation that he wasn’t supposed to be a part of just to have something to think about other than how awful and pathetic he was right now. Something other than the self hatred he could feel swirling in his subconscious, ready to tear him apart the second the distractions faded away. 

“And that was the first thing he did when he woke up?” There was a strained silence for a second and Justin didn’t need to open his eyes to know Giriko had been entirely cornered. He had waited far too long, even if his expression was steel, which with it being Giriko it most certainly wasn’t, it was too late, it was obvious he was hiding something. 

“We were just talking.” Giriko’s voice was even quieter, something Justin was shocked was even possible. It was almost like Giriko somehow felt bad about not going for Azusa earlier… which was shocking to say the least. Justin wasn’t sure why Giriko would bother to get her unless there was an emergency which, well, there kinda was. 

“And you didn’t come get me? Didn’t tell anyone he woke up? We have to make sure everything is healing and he’s recovering at a proper rate, you can’t just forget that.” It was amazing in a kind horrible way to hear Giriko getting full out scolded right now, something Justin knew the man would never let  _ anyone _ do without some massive bite back… Justin honestly wished he could open his eyes so he could see the expression on the enchanter’s face right now, to see his reaction to this… 

“Well I didn’t know that.” It was a bit snappy, a hint to drop it right now before Giriko got actually mad, but Azusa of course didn’t listen; she just gave a dramatic sigh, one so over the top Justin could  _ see  _ her shaking her head in his mind.

“You were the one who asked to be allowed to watch over him. You agreed to those rules and I know for a fact getting us whenever he wakes up was one of them. Follow them or we will get someone else to do it.” It was a threat but Justin could tell her heart wasn’t entirely in it. She already had a million other things to worry about undoubtedly and Giriko  _ had  _ gotten her so this was really overkill. Giriko gave a heavy sigh. 

“Ok. I’ll remember it next time.” There was a weird shuffling and the door shut with a loud clack. Justin peeked one of his eyes open and saw Giriko grumbling and moving to sit back down besides the bed. 

“How long have you been hanging around here?” After Giriko jumped out of his skin at the question Justin couldn’t stop himself from laughing as best as he could with all the equipment on him. With his stint trying to sit up going so poorly, Justin wasn’t interested in fighting against the heaviness of his body  _ and  _ all the wires on him, but god they made it hard even to just react properly. 

“Jesus kid. Didn’t go to bed then?” Giving a couple bleary blinks, trying to clear up his vision to see Giriko properly Justin sighed as things got maybe 2% better… it was something he supposed. Mumbling he sunk deeper into the blankets to look at Giriko over the edge and respond. 

“Can you fall asleep on command?” Giriko grunted in acknowledgement, agreeing with Justin and that yeah he couldn’t do that either. Honestly, Justin would be impressed if someone could manage that. He wasn’t sure how Azusa thought that was possible or if she even did think that… maybe she just wanted him to shut up… 

“So you heard all of that did you?” As he nodded Giriko grimaced and leaned back against his chair, understanding that he needed to start explaining what was going on but unsure of how to start.

“Well… You had a real chunk taken out of you so they all decided it would be best just to force you under for a while. By the time I showed up you had already been down for a bit… but i've been here for a week or so.” Justin’s eyes almost came out of his head… a week? A week!? Justin couldn’t remember what happened before he fell asleep but he felt like he had been asleep for a couple hours maybe, not  _ days _ . How much had he missed? What was going on?

“I’ve been asleep for a week?” His voice was so hoarse and shocked, Giriko gave him a pained frown just from hearing it. Justin wasn’t paying attention to any of that though, he was just trying to figure out what to do with that information, how he could possibly come to terms with it… Giriko patted his head and brushed back some of his hair, snapping him out of his uncontrollable thoughts and getting him to listen to the rest of the story.

“At least. I’m honestly surprised you woke up already. By the time I saw you they had already put a lot of work into putting you back together… and well.” There was a heavy pause, bad news imminent, Justin could feel it coming and was honestly scared of what it could be. Giriko’s expression was full of a special type of pain Justin wasn’t sure he had seen before. 

“I thought you were a corpse. I thought there was no way you were coming back from all of that.” It hurt to hear, it was scary to hear, it made him feel  _ dead _ , like this was some weird post mortem informational session he was hearing as a ghost or something. Giriko didn’t seem to pick up on his discomfort though and just kept going… 

“And when they put you under they weren’t sure if you were gonna wake back up either. I guess they figured it’d be better for you to die while you were under than for you to suffer through your body trying to rebuild itself and then still die.” Justin could feel himself sweating, his eyes spinning with how overwhelming all that information was… it all made sense in a way… but he didn’t want to consider any of it. He just wanted everything to be fine again, he needed to just be fine for a second but life didn’t work that way… 

“Also they just didn’t want you to be doing stupid shit like trying to sit up and making it even harder for yourself to recover.” The sharp smile Giriko gave with that was clearly done to lighten the mood, but it didn’t process in Justin’s mind at all, he was too busy thinking about everything that had happened to even roll his eyes at that poor excuse for a joke. 

“So I really was supposed to die?” Giriko’s smile disappeared entirely.

“Not supposed to. Just… really looked like you were going to.” Justin’s eyes felt heavy and wet, he hated this, he hated all of this and he couldn’t even curl up into a tight little ball and cry because there was so much weird shit sticking out of him… 

“Everything hurts.” Justin’s voice cracked in the middle of his words, his voice just as pained as he was, reflecting the sorrow in his soul right now. 

“Yeah I got a feeling it’s gonna be that way for a while little scythe.” The words were gentle and loving but Justin could only look at Giriko with a tilted head, in an amazed shock. It was almost funny how Giriko grew uncomfortable under the weird focus and looked around before looking back at Justin for an explanation. 

“You haven’t called me that since I was a Death Scythe.” Giriko blinked, trying to process that himself and think about the overwhelming amount of things that were going on here and pick it all apart before responding.

“Oh… I- I forgot. I mean you are one again aren’t you?” It was a fair question and one Justin honestly didn’t know the answer to himself. He had no idea what was going on here, had no idea what had happened while he was asleep and what they had decided about all of this or even why Giriko was even here… but he supposed none of that really mattered right now anyway… he was far too tired to try and make sense of it all.

“Probably not…” It was a lazy tired answer, one that sounded so dejected and upset that Giriko’s expression dropped the tiniest bit in sympathy. 

“Well… you won’t be missing out on much honestly.” Justin giggled tiredly, not having nearly enough strength to try to stifle the embarrassing, almost cutesty noise. Giriko didn’t poke fun at it though, he just smiled, tired and relieved. Justin didn’t realize until now, probably because his vision hadn’t cleared up until now, but… Giriko looked pretty beaten up. His face looked haggard and pale, he had such dark circles and his normally spiky hair had wilted a bit. It made his heart squeeze painfully. 

“I missed you.” It came out before Justin even knew it. Giriko froze solid under the confession, he looked pained and uncomfortable. For a brief second Justin could feel his heart drop to the floor. Taking the other’s discomfort as a rejection. But then he noticed that Giriko’s eyes were ever so slightly wet… that he looked almost scared.

“I missed you too kid. Don’t go actually dying on me this time.” It was scary to know that wasn’t an outrageous fear for Giriko to have here, that it was extremely possible for that to happen… Justin tried to brush past it though, to not think about it too hard and go crazy with the possibilities of it all. 

“Did you really think I died after you… went missing?” Giriko looked down to the floor with a heavy sigh after the question, the weight of the past few months falling over him like a pile of bricks as he tiredly rubbed at his eyes.

“I didn’t know… but with everything that had happened, I didn’t really have any hope.” Justin nodded in understanding, trying to ignore the bitter flavor of that… but then Giriko continued on, apparently wanting to get this all out of the way now or maybe just wanting to finally get it off his chest.

“And when they finally told me you were still alive it was because they had your dying mangled corpse of a body and wanted to see if I had any information to help fix it.” There was a second Justin had to think about that statement, running it over through his mind a couple times… So… the reason they were together right now was only  _ because  _ Justin almost died? That was horribly bitter but it did make the throbbing wounds aching at Justin’s skin the slightest bit easier to tolerate… 

“So you went from thinking I had died, to seeing me dying?” Giriko’s mouth bent into a weird frown, not wanting to answer while also knowing it was already out there. They both knew it, they both could see the weird remains of what Giriko had just had to suffer right in front of them with Justin’s thrashed body… 

“Yeah pretty much.” There was an uncomfortable quiet and Justin’s face started to twist into something upset and angry. 

“Why did you leave me?” Somewhere deep down Justin knew that was a ridiculous thing to be upset about, but he also couldn’t stop himself. He was in charge of himself and it was no one’s fault but his own that he was so disgustingly disfigured now, but somehow it still felt like he had been betrayed. He hated himself for feeling that way, for being so incompetent and relying on Giriko for something as important as general safety… This was all his fault, entirely, he couldn’t be upset at anyone but himself… 

“It wasn’t my choice! The fucking academy caught me and… there wasn’t much I could do from there.” Giriko surprisingly seemed to follow along with Justin’s sudden weird brattiness expecting him to be back up even though that was most surely not his responsibility at all. It was weird and if Justin had more energy he’d probably make it obvious that he didn’t care all that much and that he didn’t need to know, but he was too tired for that and just nodded in a numb acceptance. 

“Justin… what happened after I was gone?” Giriko’s question was only fair but it came like a fucking lighting strike. Justin sunk into the covers Azusa had put over him, going lower and lower until only his eyes could just barely peek out the top, his face burning in a mixture of shame and embarrassment. 

“It hurt.” Giriko actually flinched hearing those words, as if they somehow confirmed his worst fears or something. Justin didn’t understand the reaction but he was also too far into his own head to even process anything going on outside of his own downward spiral remembering everything that had happened to lead him to this moment, the dark sticky feeling making him want to rip all these wires out and try to rinse himself off with scalding water so he could feel even the slightest bit clean again. 

“It hurt so much and I was all alone except  _ him  _ and I- I don’t- It-” Giriko covered his mouth, holding his jaw still with a shaking hand that seemed to be as close to breaking down as he was… 

“H-hey. Let’s not talk about that right now ok? Just calm down.” Pinching his eyes shut Justin nodded firmly and hid further under the blankets. Further away from Giriko. He didn’t want anyone to see him right now. He didn’t want anyone to know he existed. He was so ashamed of everything he just wanted to dissolve through the floorboards and hate himself in peace. Giriko didn’t let that happen though. He peeled the blankets down before wrapping them around Justin and pulling his limp body up.

“Don’t tell Azusa I’m doing this, she’ll fucking kill me if she finds out.” blinking Justin tried to process what was happening as he was bundled up into Giriko’s arms and the enchanter got himself awkwardly in the hospital bed beside him. Justin could only stare in shock as Giriko checked to make sure he wasn’t sitting on anything important, or had disconnected something or anything like that. Once he was satisfied he hadn’t fucked anything vital up he relaxed and pulled Justin up against his chest warmly.

“It’s lucky you’re such a fucking stick of a person, otherwise there’d be no way we’d both fit in here.” For a bit Justin just sat stiff and scared. Having a horribly hard time catching up and understanding just what was happening here. Giriko’s arm was heavy and comforting around his back but Justin was the furthest thing from calm. He took a shaky breath in through his nose. And the reality hit him like a ton of bricks.

This was Giriko. His Giriko. He wasn’t dead. He wasn’t dead and he was by his side again. Burying his face into the other’s chest Justin lost himself in the familiar scent and started to cry. Giriko was alive. This was real. Not a delusion. Not some weird medication induced nightmare. Not a cruel afterlife. He was here. Clutching onto Giriko’s shirt he ignored how the IV in his hand pressed painfully against his white knuckles. He needed the other closer, to know he wasn’t going to leave again. 

“It’s really you, isn’t it? You're really still alive…” Giriko seemed a bit lost, not really holding him back and more just limp in shock trying to figure out what was going on. 

“Are you just realizing that?” Nodding vigorously he tried to push himself even closer to the enchanter. For a second there was just silence, and then Giriko pulled him into a bruising hug. It  _ hurt _ , it made Justin’s weak body scream in pain but at the same time he wanted it even tighter, to know nothing would get between them.

“I’m alive Justin. This is real. This is real and I won’t leave you again. I won’t let this happen again.” The affirmations made him cry harder, so unbearably relieved to hear that this was reality. That they were alright, that somehow they had found themselves together again.


	2. Chapter 2

“What are you doing?” The voice breaking into his dead tired sleep was so deadpan and unamused that Giriko coughed and rubbed his painfully sore eyes to force himself awake, not wanting to be slapped around by these stupid ass scythes who thought they could do whatever. Still, he was actually surprised to see someone other than Azusa staring him down for once, he wasn’t a hundred percent sure if he even knew the name of the woman glaring at him. He had probably seen her before, but just never cared enough to learn her name. The only reason he knew Azusa’s was because she was so loud and, as much as he hated to admit it,  _ fearsome _ , that he had to know it. Had to know when he needed to be concerned.

“What do you think I’m doing?” Rubbing his face some more he groaned tiredly at how much his head hurt. His entire body was screaming at him to go the hell back to sleep, that it was not time to wake up yet. He cursed under his breath and tried to open his eyes up all the way despite the bright lights stinging. This sucked. What was happening anyway? Looking over at her with a truly pissed off glare he looked for clarification. 

“Causing a disruption in medical treatment.” For a second he was purely confused. At a complete loss as to what the hell she could be talking about. But when it clicked he looked down in a panic, all his sudden stress coming out in a heavy relieved sigh when he saw Justin still asleep, drooling on him. The kid looked fine, way better than he had in a very, very long time honestly. Giriko wasn’t sure if he had seen Justin look this way since they met, he wasn’t even sure if the kid had looked this alive even back then. 

Justin had surely been on a crashing decline of health since the moment they met. Hell, long before they met. The second the kishin woke up the kid had started dying. Still Giriko only had the starting point of when they had met. So as the kid went further and further into insanity Giriko’s only idea of what he was like before was that. That was all he had hoped to get Justin back to. He wanted to see the other healthy enough to be as annoying and smug as he always was, without drifting off into the nonsensical bad decisions and horrible self destructiveness that ate away at his body and psyche. It was a small goal, but until this very moment he hadn’t even considered a healthier version of Justin to exist at all. 

Looking at how much better the kid looked right now a selfish kind of fear settled in Giriko’s stomach. Was it possible for Justin to get better enough that he would realize that he could do far better than the enchanter? That once he was healthy there’d be no point for him to drag the rotten man behind him? Shaking his head tiredly Giriko berated himself for worrying about something as stupid as that. Justin still honestly looked more dead than alive, even if better than he had, so he was still nowhere near being healthy. Also all of this was assuming the academy wasn’t just going to execute him the second they had their guillotine back and working. After all the only reason he was alive right now, the only reason he wasn’t rotting in their stupid cells while they tried to decide just what to do with him, was because he was the only person Justin trusted right now. 

Once the brat could stay up for longer than a few minutes they were undoubtedly going to try and force Giriko to convince him of going back to the academy or some shit. There was no way they were helping Justin because they actually cared, they just wanted his service again. Something Giriko didn’t want to let happen but at the same time he knew there wasn’t really anywhere else for the brat to go. There was no way they were just going to let them go after this, and even if they escaped somehow… he’d just be trapping Justin with him instead of with the academy. It wasn’t like the other could get very far being as young as he was, and even if he could it’d raise enough eyebrows that the DWMA would undoubtedly catch wind of it and figure out it was their ex-scythe.

There might not be anything better to do here than lie and tell Justin that’d staying here would be fine. The academy was gross, giving Giriko no other option than that. It was pretty on brand though. They loved trapping people in corners like this. But one big thing they were ignoring here was that Justin wasn’t an idiot. He wouldn’t just believe whatever the fuck Giriko told him, and after the whole fiasco with the Kishin he knew not to trust them blindly anymore either. They had undoubtedly given the brat a handful of new complexes abandoning and then messing with him like they had, all of which Giriko didn’t know how the fuck to deal with. So if they didn’t know either, it might be a lost cause trying to get Justin to trust them at all. 

“I’m always causing a disruption as far as you guys are concerned.” Her eyebrow twitched horribly at his response and she grabbed onto his shoulder and threw him back so she could actually see Justin past him. The way that the bars of the bed slammed into his back made him cough horribly and his glare got worse. She was a lot stronger than he was expecting. Were even their nurses jacked? What the hell kind of training did it take just to be a janitor here? 

Still, he was glad he had managed to get her to do whatever she needed to without making him stand up. Not only was he still exhausted from being up for days on end, but he also wasn’t too keen on letting go of Justin yet. The beeping of a heart monitor only went so far to remind him that the brat was still alive. Being able to feel his heartbeat and how his chest moved with his tiny, still ineffective breaths was far more of a comfort then he was proud to admit. 

“I heard he woke up yesterday.” Giriko blinked and looked up at her in confusion, shocked she was trying to start a conversation with him. Usually they all pretended he didn’t exist unless they were telling him to get out of the way or something they needed him to do. Scratching the back of his head he looked away with a strained frown. He wasn’t really interested in talking amicably with anyone here… 

“Yeah he did.” She took a deep lungful of air, readying herself to ask her next question, getting prepared to hear an answer she knew she wouldn’t want to hear. 

“How was he?” Giriko looked down at Justin when she said it, feeling a heavy pain settle over his heart as he saw Justin’s slight red flush of living skin, his dark circles that weren’t going away even though he literally couldn’t wake up anymore, his wet little lips drooling into the oxygen mask and dripping out the side onto Giriko with how relaxed he was right now. He was so hurt… even waking up he was so hurt… but Giriko didn’t want to admit that. 

“He was having a hard time understanding what was real, and even after I could convince him he’d forget again after a bit. But he was talking and making sense, seemed ok enough.” Her mouth hardened into a pained line. She looked devastated, angry, disgusted, and probably a bit of every other negative emotion. Giriko couldn’t blame her though. He felt that way too. Justin thinking they were dead had been heartbreaking, and even after he convinced Justin they weren’t dead he had still taken far longer to accept that Giriko was real, he hadn’t realized it until he was falling asleep again. Which meant the conversation they had been having… Justin had thought he was talking to himself. That made Giriko feel like he was gutted. 

How much had Justin been ‘talking’ to him since he left? How had he been able to seem so normal if he thought all of that was fake? Was he that used to it? That desperate? Giriko knew he was being overly optimistic by thinking Justin ‘forgot’ that he was alive. After the immediate fear that came with waking up so drugged Justin knew damn well that he was alive. He just didn’t know Giriko was. He didn’t know Giriko was and didn’t bother to question it. And that  _ had  _ to be because he wasn’t all that surprised to see him. Because he undoubtedly had seen Giriko before. Had those conversations before. 

_ ‘I thought you were dead. I thought you died. I missed you. Why did you leave me?’ _ Giriko felt sick. How many times had Justin told ‘him’ all of that? How many times had he lived through that to be so unquestioning of it, to be so certain that Giriko was nothing more than a part of his subconscious? He had never once asked Giriko if he was real, if he was really alive, never asked for any kind of confirmation on that. All his questions up until  _ ‘why did you leave’ _ were just about what was happening, things his subconscious could easily make up an answer for. None of them were directed specifically at Giriko. Because Justin already knew the questions would fall flat against nothingness. Because Giriko wasn’t actually there.

Looking down at the blonde Giriko had to steel himself to not have any kind of visible reaction. He grit his teeth horribly, clenching and unclenching one of his fists. Would Justin even know he was real the next time he woke up? Would he just think it was another delusion? Would he write off that encounter as fake? There was no way to know. No way to tell how long it’d take to convince Justin that he wasn’t imagining things anymore, or at the very least wasn’t imagining Giriko. 

“How was he… while everything was happening?” It took a second for Giriko to realize she meant while they were off doing their own thing, Giriko burning time and watching over Justin and Justin wandering after the kishin in search of some type of answer to the madness. Some reason as to why he was suffering like this, where the supposed beauty in it was.

“Scared.” The woman’s eyebrows shot up, shocked to hear that response. It made Giriko scoff. He  _ knew  _ they were this stupid, he had been there when it was happening after all… but being reminded of it really did wonders whipping his anger back up again. 

“You look surprised by that. Aren’t you guys the leaders in this whole fight against madness? Shouldn’t you know how it affects people? Don’t you all underline the ‘fear’ it gives everyone?” The silence that came over them after that was deafening, she clearly knew he was right, that she had been reading this wrong the entire time. Giriko wasn’t interesting in being patient and turning this into a fucking teaching moment though, this bullshit wasn’t his job and he also didn’t give a fuck as long as they left Justin alone. 

“I guess it's better to assume they're all inhuman if you want to make it easy to finish off your ineffective killings.” With that Giriko moved Justin gently back onto his lap, getting back into the center of the bed after being so rudely pushed to the side. Each move was very careful though, terrified of smacking Justin’s central port on something and letting a fucking fountain of blood come out of the brat’s chest. 

“If he was scared, why didn’t he come back with Tezca? Or just come back before everything snowballed into that?” Looking back at her with a glare Giriko tried to inspire some kind of fear so she’d leave them the hell alone. It didn’t work even a little bit, she raised a judgemental eyebrow at him, not entertained with his shitty attempts to scare her. Huffing Giriko relented to the fact he was going to have to answer and be a part of this conversation. 

“He was scared of  _ you _ . What you’d do to him.” Her eyebrow didn’t lower, still looking skeptical, not believing him even a little bit… how fucking exhausting. Giriko wasn’t even going to get into the topic of how Tezca didn’t exactly seem like the safest person to go with in the first place, he wanted this over as soon as possible.

“Scared of what you’d do and angry that you all abandoned him so quick. Having all of that mixing around in the head of a kid wracked with delusions that was also being pushed around by a psychotic clown obviously made for a pretty fucked up experience for everyone.” Her mouth opened slightly before closing, racing thoughts behind her eyes, a million things she was trying to piece together with this new information, a million things she was trying to justify so she wouldn’t feel guilty for being a part of this. Giriko wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Before you start with all those questions I can see you gettin’ ready to ask me, I’m gonna stop you.” Her lips pursed, but she waited, agreeing to hearing more. That was something, barely anything but more than Giriko expected from these fucks. 

“I’m not going to be able to tell you exactly what Justin was thinking. Hell, I don’t think Justin will be able to.” That was undoubtedly true, Giriko knew it was. Justin had barely been sure of what he was doing the entire time, going forward with confidence, refusing to doubt himself, but he was still on entirely his own for the first time… and it was painfully apparent. Giriko wasn’t sure how he had made it so far before he had gone to find Giriko in the gutters. He was strong and intelligent, but… really stupid too. 

There was a reason he grabbed onto Noah the second he left, needing someone there so he wasn’t walking straight into walls thinking it was normal and possibly even acceptable to be mad outside of the academy… coming back with blank eyes that weren’t sure why they believed they’d be accepted anywhere. Shaking those thoughts out of his mind Giriko continued. 

“But the  _ exact  _ isn’t what matters here- what matters is that you realize you all weren’t as blameless as you like to believe.” She looked mad at him for saying that, still lost in denial. Giriko gave a humorless laugh, rubbing the bridge of his nose in disbelief. 

“Justin wasn’t as crazy and insane as you all think he was. He was desperate.” Giriko’s voice went painfully quiet there, filled with pain as he was forced to remember everything he saw from the kid this last year… it had been hard just to watch everything blow up in Justin’s face. To see the kid stand perfectly still for a moment, dealing with his tragedy before regaining his smug expression, acting as if everything was fine, as if no one could see the suffering behind his eyes.

“Why’d he kill BJ?” The dramatic sigh Giriko made was so loud it felt inappropriate for the conversation they were having. He didn’t care. He was tired playing this game, tired of being forced to explain everything because they couldn’t think for one single moment. Shooting her another glare he clicked his tongue at how she didn’t react, unphased with his anger.

“I don’t think you’re ever gonna get an answer to that.” Giriko was being serious with that, he didn’t know what led Justin to that, what had happened in Justin’s final moments with the academy, but it didn’t matter all that much either. The nurse didn’t seem to agree. 

“He has to answer for his crimes eventually.” They kept saying that but Giriko didn’t even know what they meant by that. 

“What kind of answer are you looking for? The man’s still dead. What could he tell you that’d make that better?” Her lips puckered, annoyed by the question as if it was an unfair thing to ask even with how insistent they were on saying that over and over and  _ over  _ again as if they were supposed to just figure it out from that. 

“You said yourself that he was scared of us, why would he do something that’d make us more inclined to find him?” She bypassed answering, confirming Giriko’s idea that they didn’t even know themselves what they wanted from Justin. They were angry, surely, fairly even… but they couldn’t just keep holding this against him, telling him he had to pay it back while also feeling as if there was nothing he could do to actually make it ok.

“We could sit here and play a guessin’ game if you really want, but there's no fucking point.” Leaning back against the angled bed Giriko held Justin closer against his chest, protectively. 

“Something happened that led Justin to that decision and he did it. He killed that man, it's your choice how to stomach that information.” The nurse nodded slowly, understanding that that was the truth, that there was nothing else to hear here. Took her fucking long enough. Giriko went a bit further to really try to end this right here.

“He won’t give you any excuses and you probably wouldn’t take any excuses he could give either.” Suddenly she looked pissed off, upset with this again out of fucking nowhere… Jesus, talk about denial, realizing things and then immediately falling back because it's too hard to stomach.

“How are we supposed to know whether or not he’ll do it again if we don’t know what led him to it?” The anger that lit up in Giriko’s soul was so explosive he was shocked he didn’t get up and throw her out. He was sick of this, sick of them acting as if Justin was an uncontrollable animal who was just interested in blood 24/7. 

“You guys are dumber than I thought.” Giriko spat the words at her like a greasy black gob of hatred. He hated this bullshit, he wanted to bundle Justin up and take him back to Loew, somewhere he wouldn’t have to deal with all this while he was still trying to fucking heal. 

“How so?” If Giriko didn’t have Justin in a cute sleepy puddle on his lap he’d get up and actually fight her right now, this was fucking absurd. He did not understand even a little bit how they could be this dumb. 

“Because it was obviously a war effort! Did you fucking forget that was a war!?” That seemed to get to her, making enough sense she grimaced at her own stupidity. It was something, but not nearly enough. 

“And none of you ever picked up on that fucking clown! Just ignored it like morons! I can’t tell you how it happened or how it convinced him to kill BJ but I can tell you that it was using him as a puppet that entire fucking time!” Giriko didn’t even like thinking about the clown, this monstrous thing that followed them around constantly, like Justin’s fucking creepy chaperone. A lot of the time, even though they started dating during all of this, they didn’t sleep together because the clown would just stare at the scythe until he followed him hesitantly into the night. Justin had never told him what they were doing, why the clown was even there… Giriko wasn’t even sure if he wanted to know. It seemed that bad.

“It was gross and horrific and the fact that none of you picked up on it is…!” The bruises on Justin’s face and wrists, some even on his legs and upper thighs… they were never explained but Giriko knew where they came from. He should’ve done something while it was happening but he never did, the clown commanded a presence that all of them were actually a bit scared of. There was something more than a bit wrong with it.

“Pathetic honestly.” It didn’t have any venom in it. He was far too disgusted and upset about all of it to get properly angry anymore. Justin was still asleep. Through this whole awful conversation he had stayed perfectly asleep. Heavy and unmoving in Giriko’s arms. All drugged up and blind to everything around him. Good. He deserved to be away from all of this for a second. Giriko remembered back when they were with Noah the brat’s hair had started to fall out in clumps from all his fear and stress and starvation. He remembered that the kid couldn’t stop shaking, that when he wasn’t being held together by his heavy vestments he was as steady as a baby deer, his bony knees knocking together as he scratched the back of his neck bloody and talked about everything with a calm confident voice that just felt wrong to hear on someone so blatantly in pain.

Justin had never lost his confidence. In all of that he had never once lost his will. But not because he knew he was going to win. It was because he knew he was going to die.  _ ‘Out in a blaze of glory Giriko, surely you’ve heard of it. After all that’s what you're doing here too, isn’t it?’  _ It wasn’t. He had every intent to win. Justin didn’t. Because Justin knew it was a lost cause from the beginning. The brat had never been looking for victory. He had just been making sure he made the best of his time left. 

_ ‘They must’ve had a suffocatingly tight hold on you for a real long time for you to be actin’ like this now.’  _ Giriko still remembered Justin’s horrific smile, the one that looked far too happy, far too pleased to be on the face of a dying boy. Justin found it all funny. He laughed slightly at Giriko’s misconception of the situation and pulled on the enchanter’s necklace until they were almost kissing.

_ ‘You’re giving them far too much credit here. It wasn’t ever them holding me back, it was my own patience. And I don’t have time for patience anymore.’  _ It was only a whisper, but it was filled with so much confidence, so much desire. Justin took whatever he wanted. Did whatever he wanted. He was insane. But not in the way everyone thought he was. Even in his delusions, he knew he was delusional. Even being manipulated, he knew he was being manipulated. Justin knew he didn’t have control of his life anymore. He knew that everything was winding up to a horrible explosive end. He knew there was no escape from his fate. From the role he was being forced into. 

So every moment that he wasn’t being swallowed alive by the clown; every second he was able to lose himself in his delusions… he did. They were all better than his reality. He had found a way to channel all his crippling pain into a suffocating confidence. Lined with his overwhelming and selfish desire to live.  _ ‘I want to have the experience of being so painfully human burnt into my soul before it ends Giriko. Nothing’s going to stop me from taking that.’ _

Justin had been falling apart. Thin to the point that his face started to show the lines of his skull. Pale to the point that he seemed a bit blue. Covered in wounds that his body didn’t have the resources or energy to heal. Made entirely out of survival instincts and twitchy habits that went under the radar of everyone except the people who knew him. He was dying. He knew he was dying. But… 

_ ‘I’m alive aren’t I?’ _ Giriko bit his lip. Holding back any kind of tears that dare to slip out. Justin had been so cold that night. His heart barely beating. He was shivering and sweating. Neither of them knew exactly what was wrong with him, but they both knew it was dangerous. Giriko still wasn’t exactly sure what possessed Justin to say that. Or at least he wished didn’t. He wished Justin never explained.

_ ‘This is what it means to be alive.’  _ Giriko’s mouth had felt cold. There wasn’t really any way for him to deny that. Pain was something that came with being alive. Justin wasn’t wrong, and there was nothing Giriko could say that’d convince him that was wrong. Justin couldn’t be convinced of anything once his voice sounded like that. Once he had truly committed something to heart. 

_ ‘I love it. I love it so much Giriko.’  _ Justin’s voice cracked, turning into a pained sob at the end. Giriko hadn’t known how to react. That was the first time he had seen Justin cry. The other was always so infuriatingly composed, even in the height of his insanity he had this egomaniacal vibe about him, even when the clown messed with him he’d just cling to Giriko’s side in silence for hours. He never cried. He never cried but… then he had been sobbing.

_ ‘I’m not ready for it to end. I want to hurt more.’  _ Justin had no hope for a victory, for a peaceful future. He hadn’t had one since the beginning. He just wanted to survive. And they were both realizing that he wasn’t going to be able to much longer. 

Giriko hadn’t had any words of comfort that night. He had no idea what to say. And within the next few hours they had gotten torn apart with Giriko finding himself on the business end of a bunch of the reaper’s death weapons. So yeah. He had been shocked to hear Justin was still alive. Shocked to hear that he had turned himself in. Shocked to hear that he had begged to die. 

So much had happened in those few weeks he had been gone. So much that he’d never know. Even if he convinced Justin to tell him what had happened there was probably a lot the kid didn’t even process. Probably a lot he had blocked out. So in a way there was a lot that no one would ever know. But whatever had happened, Giriko knew enough to be devastated. He knew that Justin thought he died, that something had made the kid give up entirely and embrace death, that he had gotten bad enough that they put him into a fucking medical coma. Worst of all he knew that Justin had been having delusions that he was there. That he had been so desperate for Giriko to be there with him that his mind had been trying to compensate. 

Sighing he pulled the kid’s heavy body up the bed slightly, making their heads level again after the brat had slumped down to curl up against his chest. Justin’s head had fallen to the side limply, he was still completely out. Giriko laughed with a sad kind of humor. He had heard the nurse say something in all of that, get huffy and leave, but he still checked behind him to make sure before he nuzzled the side of the brat’s face warmly.

“You’re alive. You’re alive still. But you’re not going to get to hurt more. I’m going to keep you safe this time.” Justin shifted at that, probably more in response to having words said right up against his ear then to any of the meaning they carried, but it still took Giriko’s breath away. He still felt his heart cramp up as Justin curled back into him, searching for the comfort Giriko gave him even in his sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> The 'Him' referred to in this is the Clown, I... probably will never do anything about the clown unless something MAJOR happens in my life because that's just a topic I personally am not strong enough to handle, but it is referenced here so for some clarification the clown really gives off abuser/gaslighting/a million bad vibes for me and yeah... 
> 
> Anyway! there were a couple other things I wanted to do for this (like their first kiss after Justin gets the mask off ;0;) so maybe this will have a sequel one day ;v;


End file.
